My Harry Potter Poems
by Anika Cobriana
Summary: This is a collection of PARODY poems written by me of course about the characters in the Harry Potter books. Was known as DMHG 2GETHER 4EVER.
1. BW POEM

BW POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Bill Weasley,  
  
And I'm forty-four.  
  
I work for Gringotts,  
  
In the very core.  
  
I wear something in my ear,  
  
A fang ear ring.  
  
When payday comes,  
  
My money goes Ka-Ching.  
  
I am the oldest,  
  
Of the bunch.  
  
Hurry up,  
  
When's lunch.  
  
I don't know how to use,  
  
The Post Office Mail.  
  
I'm going to kill myself,  
  
With this hammar and nail. 


	2. CW POEM

CW POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Charlie Weasley,  
  
And I'm twenty-one.  
  
I'm so very glad,  
  
That I don't weigh a ton.  
  
The dragons I work with,  
  
Give me scars and burns.  
  
When I dance ballat,  
  
I turn, turn, turn.  
  
I have a lovely partner,   
  
Whose graceful as can be.  
  
When I fall,  
  
I weap, weap, weap.  
  
When I see a dragon,  
  
I scream for my wife.  
  
When a dragon attacks,  
  
I run for my life. 


	3. GW POEM

GW POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Ginny Weasley,   
  
And I'm eighty-five years old.  
  
I'm very sad to say,  
  
That I live on the road.  
  
I love the boy who lived,  
  
But I was too late.  
  
If luck would have it,  
  
I'd love to know my fate.  
  
I live in the shadows,  
  
Of my very brothers.  
  
I wonder what happened,   
  
To my very lover.  
  
I have a boring life,  
  
as you can see.  
  
I hope you loved reading,  
  
About boring me. 


	4. HG POEM

HG POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Hermione Granger,   
  
And I'm thirty-seven.  
  
When I fly high,  
  
I'm in a wonderful heaven.  
  
I'm very sucsseful,  
  
At what I do best.  
  
And just in case you're wondering,  
  
I make bird's nests.  
  
I just love to watch,  
  
You play all day.  
  
Out in the sun,  
  
I lay in a wonderful way.  
  
I hope you've learned,  
  
Enough about my life.  
  
I've got to go now,  
  
I have a date with a knife. 


	5. HP POEM

HP POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Harry Potter,   
  
And I'm thirty-three years old,  
  
I live in a mansion,  
  
Without the dust or mold.  
  
I am the boy who lived,  
  
But I don't really care.  
  
I'll go absoultely crazy,  
  
When I loose my hair.  
  
I am a Quidditch player,   
  
For the Chudley Cannons.  
  
I have a lovely daughter,  
  
Whose name is Lily Shannon.  
  
Hermione Granger the lovely witch,  
  
Is my lovely wife.  
  
I am a wonderful guy, With a complicated life.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Thankyou very much for reading my poem, there will be more to come.  
  
SK_Radcliffe 


	6. LB POEM

LB POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Lavender Brown,  
  
And I'm sixty-eight.  
  
I have a wonderful mother,  
  
Whose name is lovely Kate.  
  
I know the boy who lived,  
  
Which is so totaly cool.  
  
The first time we met,   
  
Was the first day of school.  
  
I live in a wonderful house,  
  
With a wonderful man.  
  
I will admit that in the past before,  
  
I've compared him to a can.  
  
At Hogwarts School,  
  
I am a teacher.  
  
My husband works at a muggle church,  
  
and pretends to be a muggle preacher. 


	7. PP POEM

PP POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Parvati Patil,  
  
And I'm twenty-two.  
  
I have a pet cow,  
  
Who goes moo-moo.  
  
I have a twin sister,  
  
Who is a pain in the butt.  
  
I also have a dog,  
  
Whom I call Mutt.  
  
I have a boyfriend,  
  
Whose name is Dean.  
  
He looks to me,   
  
To be very lean.  
  
I hate it when,  
  
I'm mixed up with my awful sister.  
  
My boyfriend is,  
  
A very good kisser. 


	8. RW POEM

RW POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Ronald Weasley,  
  
And I'm fifty-five years old.  
  
I live in a mansion,   
  
Without the snow and cold.  
  
My bet friend is the boy who lived,  
  
And I'm always at his side.  
  
I'll go absoutely wild,   
  
When I lose my slide.  
  
I am the Minister Of Magic,  
  
Better then my brothers.  
  
I am so very proud,  
  
That I beat out all the others.  
  
I used to be so very poor,   
  
But now I am so very rich.  
  
I am so very glad,   
  
that I am no more a bitch. 


	9. SB POEM

SB POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Sirius Black,  
  
And I sat on a tack.  
  
Now my butt smells,  
  
Like a sack of stinky rats.  
  
I have a godson,  
  
His name is Harry Potter.  
  
He has a dog,  
  
That I named Rotter.  
  
I lost something,  
  
Seventeen years ago.  
  
I told my godson,  
  
Lego my ego.  
  
Azkaban is creppy,  
  
And frightly Scary.  
  
My back is,  
  
Frightly hairy. 


	10. PW POEM

PW POEM  
  
Hi, my name is Percy Weasley,  
  
And I'm twenty-five.  
  
I'm very sad to say,  
  
I've saved a lot of lives.  
  
I think I've been shot,  
  
By the famous Mr. Cupid.  
  
But I can't tell,  
  
Because I'm very stupid.  
  
I live at home,  
  
With my father and mother.  
  
I hate it when I'm laughed at,  
  
By my very brothers.  
  
I'm very glad to say,  
  
That I don't have a clue.  
  
I've lost all my brains,  
  
All because of you. 


	11. SB Poem 2

SB POEM  
  
DIFFERENT  
  
Hi, my name is Susan Bones,  
  
And I live in a home.  
  
When I brush my hair,  
  
I use a broken comb.  
  
As you can see,  
  
I'm ugly as can be.  
  
When I go out drinking,  
  
I always bring some tea.  
  
I absoutley love,  
  
To sit and watch you fly.  
  
When I swing up high,  
  
I go up to the sky.  
  
Their is this boy in class,  
  
He is so very cute.  
  
And everyday in school,  
  
I try to find the loot. 


	12. AD Poem

AD Poem

Hi, my name is Albus Dumbledore,

And I'm very old.

I live in the warmth,

Never in the cold.

I am the king of England,

With the Royal Crown.

My favorite color,

Is the dull looking brown.

In the Wizarding World,

I am the wisest wizard.

In Africa,

I saw a lizard.

I am the headmaster,

Of Hogwarts School,

When I eat,

I sit on a stool.


	13. CC Poem

CC Poem

Hi, my name is Cho Chang,

And I'm pretty as can be.

I took Harry Potter,

To have some tea.

I'm in great Ravenclaw,

With a wise and ready mind.

If you don't fall for me,

You must be very blind.

I have a beautiful son,

Who is weird as can be.

I have upon my face,

A very hideous beard.

I am divorced,

Very sad to say.

When I go outside,

I don't like to play.


	14. DM Poem

DM Poem

Hi, my name is Draco Malfoy,

And I'm a big dork.

I opened a bottle of wine,

And was hit in the face with a cork.

I am a bully,

With a couple a thugs.

When my girlfriend sees me,

She won't stop giving me hugs.

I hate Harry Potter,

He is such a pain.

I've traveled the world,

And been to Spain.

Mudbloods are stupid,

So keep them away from me.

I just wish,

They would leave me be.


	15. DU Poem

DU Poem

Hi, my name is Dolores Umbridge,

And my students think I'm evil.

Yesterday I took a walk,

And was beat up by a Kneazel.

I was a Professor,

At Hogwarts school.

But now I sit in the hospital,

Playing with my tools.

I almost caught,

The infamous Mr. Black.

Will someone please tell me,

When will he be back.

I was trampled ,

By a mighty troll.

Sometimes I wish,

That I could go for a stroll.


	16. GG Poem

GG Poem

Hi, my name is Godric Gryffindor,

I'm one of four house founders.

Old Slytherin left,

Which is a real downer.

I'm very picky,

All my students must be brave.

World domination,

Is the one thing I crave.

I am a great wizard,

With magical powers.

All my students,

Reside in the north tower.

The symbol of my house,

Is the mighty lion.

My students are not the best,

But at least they're tryin'.


	17. GW Poem 2

GW Poem

Hi, my name is George Weasley,

And I like to cause trouble.

I have a brother,

Who is my double.

I'm in love,

With a nasty witch.

I have a clock,

That has a painful glitch.

My mother thinks,

That I'm a fool.

In my attic,

Dwells a creepy ghoul.

I own a joke shop,

In Twisted Alley.

I have an evil sister,

Whose name is Sally.


	18. LP Poem

LP Poem

Hi, my name is Lily Potter,

And I was Head Girl.

I know a man named Snape,

Whose hair makes me want to hurl.

I had a wonderful life,

With a wonderful kid.

I went to an auction,

And made a pathetic bid.

I was murdered by,

A nasty man named Riddle.

I went to a muggle school,

And played the funky fiddle.

I had an amazing house,

Located in Godric's Hallow.

I'd like to have a pet,

Preferably a Swallow.


	19. NL Poem

NL Poem

Hi, my name is Neville Longbottom,

And I live in the sea.

It's not full of water,

But of Iced Tea.

I went to the store,

To buy a new floor.

When I got home,

I ran into the door.

I tried to brew myself,

A complicated potion.

But instead I got a cauldron,

Full of stinky lotion.

I have a friend named Hermione,

Who loves to read books.

I married my wife,

For her good looks.


	20. PP Poem 2

PP Poem

Hi, my name is Pansy Parkinson,

And I am a slut.

I cry to my mommy,

Whenever I get cut.

I am a Slytherin,

And very glad to be.

I went outside today,

And was stung by a bee.

I am a total blonde,

And a total ditz

When I'm at Hogwarts,

I get lots of hits.

When at school,

I hang all over men.

Instead of a quill,

I use a fancy pen.


	21. SS Poem

SS Poem

Hi, my name is Severus Snape,

And I'm a greasy slim ball.

I get laughed at,

When I walk down the hall.

I am the Potions Master,

And I don't know how.

The other day I was in a field,

When I ran into a cow.

I don't think that Severus is my name,

But I have a hunch that it's Tim.

I was in a wizard's duel,

And lost all my limbs.

People tell me,

That I'm an ugly git.

I play Baseball,

And I've never made a hit.


End file.
